What's the deal with all these foot ads on the subway now? You got all these ugly feet plastered all over the stations and then worse are the ones that are right in your face. Its bad enough having to commute with a ton of people in a subway car without having to be stuck in the position where you cant look away from nasty ass feet. And where are all these people with these fucked up feet? And why the upsurge in these ads? Was there some mass exodus from Europe where they don't tolerate people with shitty feet? Well I say be proud and keep your ugly ass feet they way they are. And keep them where they should be on the floor and out of my face.

TM

Can I just own an iPhone and not get any grief for it? My first week I kinda walked around almost afraid to use it out in public cause back then people would stare and do so in a real obvious way that would make me feel uncomfortable. I began to be a closet iPhone user not admitting I owned one or the fact that I loved my new device. Then came the iPhone haters. Now I am by no means an apple fan boy and kinda hate the cult of steve jobs but I never hated any macbooks or other apple devices. I have never gotten so much shit from people for having a certain cell phone. I know it mostly envy cause I don't recall any giant iPhones back in high school bullying people around or any of my friends having drunk iPhones for dad's beating them up. The list of reasons why I am an idiot for buying an iPhone is huge (according to the haters) but given the chance, because of cost or contract, I am sure these people would love to have one. So to all those motherfuckers who iHate ...get off my back and let me enjoy my iphone in peace.

AM

Is it unbelievable that there are places that don't take credit cards? And why must some people repeat the statement back to me? "You don't take credit cards?" I know what I said. I know where I work and that we don't take credit cards. And then to make it worse there are some idiots that actually follow that with "Well I don't have any money" like I am then supposed to give them the drinks on the house. This is not only New York City but also the East Village, there are about a million ATM's all over the place…. get some cash and stop being a moron.

While we are on the subject of cash, I hate it when tourists complain that all our bills look the same. OPEN YOUR DAMN EYES. I know we don't have different colors and different sizes like in other places we use this really weird method of telling out bills apart, its called NUMBERS. We put four on each face and on every corner of the bill. Geez Ok that was a quick bitch fest.

Back to the Credit card thing. I can understand how much easier it must be to not have to carry cash and just pay with plastic. But be reasonable, to show up to a place that kind of looks like they probably take cash more then they do credit and think its outrages that they don't accept your daddy's American Express is a little pumpass. A dead giveaway is that the place has a fucking ATM right in front of the place COME ON!!!!! Stop you r whining and complaining and carry a few twenty's in your pocket. Who knows it might save your life one day. When you get mugged, you'll probably get stabbed for only having credit cards and no cash in some neighborhoods.

DM

So how hard is it to piss into a toilet? I know I've come home pretty drunk at times and was still able to not piss all over my bathroom floor. So what makes it soooo different at a bar? Is it the fact that you know it's not going to be you later on cleaning up your piss and dirty toilet paper off the floor? And there is not a HUGE difference between the males and the females cause I've seen some DIRTY ladies bathrooms (and I use the word ladies loosely) Maybe along with a designated driver, people need to start bringing a designated person to wipe their asses and clean up after them in the toilet. If you get to the point of hanging out that you can't piss straight then maybe you shouldn't be hanging out. It doesn't take too much skill to piss. I did some research online and there is allot of scientific data to back this up... you either stand or squat and then release, you then maybe shake a little and then your done. And while we're in the bathroom (sort of speak) can we discuss the countless number of people that don't wash their hands after they piss. This time I can only speak about the guys cause I see how many go into a bathroom and walk right out without washing. Could be that I am used to washing my hands from having to do it when I work (yes that sign "employees must wash hands before leaving" is for me) but I do it when I am not working too. Nothing is classier then seeing some guy just grab his balls and piss then go shake hands with his friends (call me crazy but I wouldn't call a piss hand shaker a friend) and then with the same hand put his drink olive or cherry in his dates mouth like I said....CLASSY. So lesson here is lets not get to the point where its so bad that, like cell phones that we use instead of pay phones cause they are more convenient and cleaner, we will need to start wearing adult diapers.... cause they are more convenient and cleaner.

DM

What the fuck is up with people during drink specials? I mean they are already getting some sort of deal , wether its two for one , half price or maybe even drinking for free cause they don't have a penis. You would think that only the most down on their luck people came to these "drink special" events , but if I were that down on my luck I would be spending my money on important things like food and clothing. These fuckers are not satisfied with the "drink special" the want as much as the can get, for as little as they can get away with giving. You have to all of a sudden become a traffic cop and watch what drinks go where and to who. One of the worst examples is qhen its ladies night and all the woken try and buy the drinks for the guys so they dont have to pay full price. I mean come on youre already a girl! You dont need to be hooking up some loser who can't afford to pay full price just to get his attention. Do you think this moron is ever even gonna pay for your kabab? Don't getme started on how cheap alot if these people are when it comes to tipping. Badically if you go aplace cause of some drink special, dont try to get over on the bartender he/she is having enough of a hard time with the crowd. Last thing they need is another pain in the ass. Maybe if you are kool enough to the bartender you'll get to the point that you wont need a "drink special" to get a free drink.

DM

"Can I get a glass of water?" not one of my favorite things to hear from a "customer" unless they have already drank allot then no problem. When someone first walks in and asks for a glass of water I already start thinking "this person is not gonna drink". It's like walking into a restaurant and asking for a napkin. And there are the people who keep asking for water all night long and don't tip. Don't you realize that its almost the same amount of work to pour a glass of water as a regular drink? And at the same time if its a busy night you are taking time away from people ordering REAL drinks and potential tippers. Worst case of these water drinkers are the ones that aren't happy with a regular glass of water, and request a pint glass of water, sometimes even going as far as not wanting any ice in. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG IT TAKES TO FILL A PINT GLASS WITH WATER WITH NO ICE IN IT!!!! AUGHHHHHHHHHH. Then to top things they don't even drink 1/4 of the glass of water so you then end up pouring the water out. Lessons learned here are... 1: If you order water tip on it. 2: If you order water when its busy, tip on it. 3: If you order water just take the reg glass with or with out the ice, and tip on it. 4: If you order a pint of water, drink the whole thing and don't forget to tip on it. Basically make sure you always tip.

DM

Is blue stripped shirt the new douche? I was at a bar last night and couldn't believe how many idiots were wearing striped blue dress shirts. I mean are there no other kinda dress shirts out there and why are they wearing dress shirts? Is it some sort of gang? was I hanging out in a gang bar? Highly unlikely. It cant be that this is the high fashion craze cause Ive seen this dress uniform for a few years now, Kaki pants and dress shirts most often sky blue or some sort os pastel color. Now it may be some sort of mating ritual cause I also did notice that the number of douche bags wearing this outfit was matched by the number of retarded girls that were attracted to these morons. I mean who would not be attracted to a loud obnoxious drunken tool who dresses like every other person in the room and seems to have no sense of what is going on besides the fact that it's time to get hammered and grab some ass. I have always thought how odd it would seem if I got a group of friends and we all wore the same exact T-Shirt and went to the upper east or west side and walked into a bar together. I don't think the crowds there would think any more us then I think of people who have no sense of actually looking a little less like an assembly line product from the banana republic factory.

MS