Is it unbelievable that there are places that don't take credit cards? And why must some people repeat the statement back to me? "You don't take credit cards?" I know what I said. I know where I work and that we don't take credit cards. And then to make it worse there are some idiots that actually follow that with "Well I don't have any money" like I am then supposed to give them the drinks on the house. This is not only New York City but also the East Village, there are about a million ATM's all over the place…. get some cash and stop being a moron.

While we are on the subject of cash, I hate it when tourists complain that all our bills look the same. OPEN YOUR DAMN EYES. I know we don't have different colors and different sizes like in other places we use this really weird method of telling out bills apart, its called NUMBERS. We put four on each face and on every corner of the bill. Geez Ok that was a quick bitch fest.

Back to the Credit card thing. I can understand how much easier it must be to not have to carry cash and just pay with plastic. But be reasonable, to show up to a place that kind of looks like they probably take cash more then they do credit and think its outrages that they don't accept your daddy's American Express is a little pumpass. A dead giveaway is that the place has a fucking ATM right in front of the place COME ON!!!!! Stop you r whining and complaining and carry a few twenty's in your pocket. Who knows it might save your life one day. When you get mugged, you'll probably get stabbed for only having credit cards and no cash in some neighborhoods.

DM

So how hard is it to piss into a toilet? I know I've come home pretty drunk at times and was still able to not piss all over my bathroom floor. So what makes it soooo different at a bar? Is it the fact that you know it's not going to be you later on cleaning up your piss and dirty toilet paper off the floor? And there is not a HUGE difference between the males and the females cause I've seen some DIRTY ladies bathrooms (and I use the word ladies loosely) Maybe along with a designated driver, people need to start bringing a designated person to wipe their asses and clean up after them in the toilet. If you get to the point of hanging out that you can't piss straight then maybe you shouldn't be hanging out. It doesn't take too much skill to piss. I did some research online and there is allot of scientific data to back this up... you either stand or squat and then release, you then maybe shake a little and then your done. And while we're in the bathroom (sort of speak) can we discuss the countless number of people that don't wash their hands after they piss. This time I can only speak about the guys cause I see how many go into a bathroom and walk right out without washing. Could be that I am used to washing my hands from having to do it when I work (yes that sign "employees must wash hands before leaving" is for me) but I do it when I am not working too. Nothing is classier then seeing some guy just grab his balls and piss then go shake hands with his friends (call me crazy but I wouldn't call a piss hand shaker a friend) and then with the same hand put his drink olive or cherry in his dates mouth like I said....CLASSY. So lesson here is lets not get to the point where its so bad that, like cell phones that we use instead of pay phones cause they are more convenient and cleaner, we will need to start wearing adult diapers.... cause they are more convenient and cleaner.

DM

What the fuck is up with people during drink specials? I mean they are already getting some sort of deal , wether its two for one , half price or maybe even drinking for free cause they don't have a penis. You would think that only the most down on their luck people came to these "drink special" events , but if I were that down on my luck I would be spending my money on important things like food and clothing. These fuckers are not satisfied with the "drink special" the want as much as the can get, for as little as they can get away with giving. You have to all of a sudden become a traffic cop and watch what drinks go where and to who. One of the worst examples is qhen its ladies night and all the woken try and buy the drinks for the guys so they dont have to pay full price. I mean come on youre already a girl! You dont need to be hooking up some loser who can't afford to pay full price just to get his attention. Do you think this moron is ever even gonna pay for your kabab? Don't getme started on how cheap alot if these people are when it comes to tipping. Badically if you go aplace cause of some drink special, dont try to get over on the bartender he/she is having enough of a hard time with the crowd. Last thing they need is another pain in the ass. Maybe if you are kool enough to the bartender you'll get to the point that you wont need a "drink special" to get a free drink.

DM

"Can I get a glass of water?" not one of my favorite things to hear from a "customer" unless they have already drank allot then no problem. When someone first walks in and asks for a glass of water I already start thinking "this person is not gonna drink". It's like walking into a restaurant and asking for a napkin. And there are the people who keep asking for water all night long and don't tip. Don't you realize that its almost the same amount of work to pour a glass of water as a regular drink? And at the same time if its a busy night you are taking time away from people ordering REAL drinks and potential tippers. Worst case of these water drinkers are the ones that aren't happy with a regular glass of water, and request a pint glass of water, sometimes even going as far as not wanting any ice in. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG IT TAKES TO FILL A PINT GLASS WITH WATER WITH NO ICE IN IT!!!! AUGHHHHHHHHHH. Then to top things they don't even drink 1/4 of the glass of water so you then end up pouring the water out. Lessons learned here are... 1: If you order water tip on it. 2: If you order water when its busy, tip on it. 3: If you order water just take the reg glass with or with out the ice, and tip on it. 4: If you order a pint of water, drink the whole thing and don't forget to tip on it. Basically make sure you always tip.

DM

"I'm a bartender" unless you are asked by the bartender what you do or if you're asked if you are one then I shouldn't hear those words from anyone. Any real bartender does not need to announce that to anybody. Usually when some dumb ass clown states that they are a bartender or even worse that they used to be a bartender then you know they have been a pain in the ass or about to be one. Most bartenders will be able to spot a fellow patriot of the spirits by the way they behave at the bar. Waiting patiently till the bartender gets to them, not asking for pain in the ass drinks that are probably not served there, not waving money in the air to get someones attention (as if I were a topless dancer)and most of all they tip like they know full well that we make a living from tips and not from a paycheck. The ASSHOLES that like to start their drink orders with "I'm a bartender" probably worked at a Friday's or Apple bee's for a week before they went back to school during college. The most infuriating action that these so called bartenders make is tiping one dollar on a big drink order. There is no way in ell that these fucking morons ever made a living serving drinks cause they would know better tipping etiquette. Using the term "I'm a bartender" is not like showing a badge at a crime scene it does not allow you act like an ass cause you held the job title.

DM

There is a breed of assholes out there that somehow manage to play this trick on bartenders and at least I fall for it all the time. They tip on every drink but then the second they get their free drink they stop tipping its like being some sort of a tip tease. Well that may work but hey not only is it rude to not tip on a buy back it fucks it up in case you were going to get another buy back later. Did these idiots ever think beyond the ONE buy back? Cause if you continue to tip good , well there may even be a free shot or another drink in it for ya. But the losers that then just take their drinks and run ...walk home sober. You may still get fucked up but it will cost you more money. Remember its always the good tipper that goes home with more money in their pocket and fucked up.

DM

The Only reason I put a French man here to represent all tourist is that there was one last night and I kid you not with GOD as my witness he had a black hat and a stripped shirt on. And like most tourist he was cheap and left no tip. now I can't understand why in this day in age people still come to the US and not tip.SO do they expect us to believe that they are the only person from their "town" that has ever come across to big ol America? and no where in any guide book or web site does it state "it's customary to tip in America" Well from now on when I travel overseas I will definitively look up what some of the customs are in those places and make sure I don't do them , like NOT TIP.

DM