Monkey Brains
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  • 2008
    • June
      • "Legally Bigoted" Traveling Monkey 003
        06/16/08
        I started noticing that there are a bunch of ads on the subway for legal firms. They all aim at different types of problems or reasons why you should need an attorney. They also all have different phone numbers that match what sort of law/lawyer you should need. For example for divorce attorneys or

    • May
      • "Pole Dancer" Traveling Monkey 002
        05/19/08
        So these people who love to hug the poles in the subway cars during rush hour, what the FUCK is your deal? Do you have some long lost issue with your mommy abandoning you in the subway? or is it some need to live out a fantasy of pole dancing in the subway? I mean there are only about a BILLION othe

    • March
      • "What are these guys doing?" Monkey See 007
        03/27/08
        Was driving with my cousin down 8th ave (NYC)and my cousin pointed out this hyundai ad on the side of a building. What I didn't realize till she pointed it out that it looks like one wrestler is giving head to the other. I couldn't argue cause it does look that way.

        MS

      • "Get your feet out of my face" Traveling Monkey 001
        03/13/08
        What's the deal with all these foot ads on the subway now? You got all these ugly feet plastered all over the stations and then worse are the ones that are right in your face. Its bad enough having to commute with a ton of people in a subway car without having to be stuck in the position where

  • 2007
    • October
      • " Can I just own an iphone and not get shit for it?" Angry Monkey 003
        10/29/07
        Can I just own an iPhone and not get any grief for it? My first week I kinda walked around almost afraid to use it out in public cause back then people would stare and do so in a real obvious way that would make me feel uncomfortable. I began to be a closet iPhone user not admitting I owned one or t

      • "You don't take credit cards?!" Drunken Monkey 014
        10/18/07

        Is it unbelievable that there are places that don't take credit cards? And why must some people repeat the statement back to me? "You don't take credit cards?" I know what I said. I know where I work and that we don't take credit cards. And then to make it worse there

      • "Can we all just pee straight?" Drunken Monkey 013
        10/03/07
        So how hard is it to piss into a toilet? I know I've come home pretty drunk at times and was still able to not piss all over my bathroom floor. So what makes it soooo different at a bar? Is it the fact that you know it's not going to be you later on cleaning up your piss and dirty toilet p

    • September
      • "Drink Special" Drunken Monkey 012
        09/17/07
        What the fuck is up with people during drink specials? I mean they are already getting some sort of deal , wether its two for one , half price or maybe even drinking for free cause they don't have a penis. You would think that only the most down on their luck people came to these "drink sp

      • "Water" Drunken Monkey 011
        09/02/07
        "Can I get a glass of water?" not one of my favorite things to hear from a "customer" unless they have already drank allot then no problem. When someone first walks in and asks for a glass of water I already start thinking "this person is not gonna drink". It's lik

    • July
      • "Blue Stripped Shirt" Monkey See 006
        07/28/07
        Is blue stripped shirt the new douche? I was at a bar last night and couldn't believe how many idiots were wearing striped blue dress shirts. I mean are there no other kinda dress shirts out there and why are they wearing dress shirts? Is it some sort of gang? was I hanging out in a gang bar? H

      • "I'm a Bartender" Drunken Monkey 010
        07/01/07
        "I'm a bartender" unless you are asked by the bartender what you do or if you're asked if you are one then I shouldn't hear those words from anyone. Any real bartender does not need to announce that to anybody. Usually when some dumb ass clown states that they are a bartende

  • 2006
    • December
      • "Tip Tease" Drunken Monkey 009
        12/02/06
        There is a breed of assholes out there that somehow manage to play this trick on bartenders and at least I fall for it all the time. They tip on every drink but then the second they get their free drink they stop tipping its like being some sort of a tip tease. Well that may work but hey not only is

      • "Turistas" Drunken Monkey 008
        12/02/06
        The Only reason I put a French man here to represent all tourist is that there was one last night and I kid you not with GOD as my witness he had a black hat and a stripped shirt on. And like most tourist he was cheap and left no tip. now I can't understand why in this day in age people still c

    • November
      • "Speak Up" Drunken Monkey 007
        11/30/06
        What is it with people who feel they have to whisper when ordering their drinks? I mean there are other people around them talking and music playing, so why whisper? You are not in a library and if you are in a bar that is so quite that you feel you need to whisper then maybe you need to find a bett

    • October
      • "I got your tip right here" Drunken Monkey 006
        10/26/06
        The bars are always full of bullshit artists, that goes without saying. One of the worst of the bullshit artists is the "I am looking in my wallet for your tip" artist. This particular species likes to get his drink then look into his wallet waiting for you (the bartender) to turn away to

      • "Sugar Mama" Monkey See 005
        10/25/06
        Who are these women (really girls) who seem to be attracted to guys (sorry but mostly musicians) who can never pay for anything? They pay at the door, at the coat check and at the bar. I have seen these girls also pay for meals and in allot of the cases the girl actually gives the man (really boy) t

      • "Unknown Artist" Angry Monkey 002
        10/23/06
        What's up with small bands that act like they are such rock stars and seem to think that they are playing some huge venue when in fact they are just playing some small club where prob no one has ever heard of them and then when these bands do have some sort of following they think that they are

      • "Buy Back Tipping" Drunken Monkey 005
        10/21/06
        Not tipping on a buy back or a free drink is not just plain wrong it should be against the law and is most definatively a sin. It's assholes that don't tip on buy backs that ruin it for everyone else, cause when a bartender doesn't get tipped on a buy back, they then wonder why bother

      • Web Monkey 003
        10/20/06
        Run & Fall.

        WM

      • "Open Hours"Monkey See 004
        10/17/06
        If a place closes at 7:00 do you arrive at 6:59 and complain about them still being open or even worse are you one of the people who arrives at 7:05 and says "but its only 7:05" Do any of these people ever take into consideration that maybe the closing time is also quitting time? How woul

      • Web Monkey 002
        10/17/06
        Ride Donald.
        Click on image to see bigger.

        WM

      • "Commute Bigot" Monkey See 003
        10/16/06
        I had to ride the LIRR today and was on the platform waiting at one of the stations for a transfer and overheard some "real nuah yokars" making fun of the station announcers way of talking. He was a person which seemed to me from his accent probably from India or some country in that regio

      • "Happy Hour" Drunken Monkey 004
        10/15/06
        Here is a few tips about happy hour.

        When its buy one get one free... do I need to spell it out for you its BUY one get one free, not GET one free then buy one. Pay for your fucking drinks and then ask for the free one. I don't understand people who ask for a drink during happy hour

      • "Long Island Ice T" Drunken Monkey 003
        10/14/06
        Long Island Ice Tea... what can be said about being an amature other then ... you're an amature. Long Island Ice teas should only be ordered under certain conditions.

        1: You have limited funds and require getting fucked up from a few drinks.

        2: You a crappy life and wish t

      • Web Monkey 001
        10/14/06
        Annie.
        Click on image to see bigger.

        WM

      • "Black & White Lines" Monkey See 002
        10/11/06
        Ever notice how people when they cross the street at intersections mostly step on the white lines its hard to purposely step in between them. I have now committed myself to not stepping on the white lines so that they will not feel like people are just stepping all over them.

        MS

      • "Open Your Eyes" Drunken Monkey 002
        10/11/06
        I don't know about you but I figured out along time ago that when I go into any bar, and I mean ANY BAR all I had to do to see what beers are sold at that place was to look somewhere behind the bartender on the wall or on top of all the liquor bottles. There is usually a bunch of beer bottles s

      • Web Monkey 000
        10/10/06
        Gonna put funny pics and web shit I find here , under "Web Monkey".

      • "Record Label People" Monkey See 001
        10/08/06
        What is it with label shows and more importantly label people? Why are they so cheap I mean they always ask for receipts cause they don't want to pay for things (tickets or drinks) out of their pockets, but then they are cheap as fuck when it comes to the tip. I mean don't they know we mak

      • "Flavor of the Weak" Drunken Monkey 001
        10/07/06
        OK, whats the deal with these morons ordering Apple Martinis and Mojitos lately? Do these people pick up the "Drinks People Drink" issue of Time Out Magazine and pick out the Flavor of the Day that they are going to annoy the bartenders with this weekend? Come on what happened to the good

      • "Cigarette Butts" Angry Monkey 001
        10/06/06
        People who smoke are bad enough, but people who smoke and then throw their cigarette on the floor and then don't bother to put it out. I mean its bad enough the environment is getting fucked up by everything else we do but do you have to leave a burning cigarette continue to burn when it doesn&

      • Drunken Monkey,Angry Monkey & Monkey See 000
        10/05/06
        So i figured I can use this spot to bitch and complain about my customers at the bar "Drunken Monkey". so sats and weds ill have stories (hopefully). Beside that I will also put my Pet Peeves (as I remember them) "Angry Monkey" and just general Observations "Monkey See"

    • August
      • Monkey Do 006 Damn I havent done shit
        08/15/06
        I may be spending too much time not doing anything (as far as productive stuff that is) Been fixing stuff around the house and trying to better organize these living spaces I call home. I should get some work done this week. I been uploading all my photos to Flickr and have already finished uploadin

      • Monkey Do 005 Just gonna cut and paste yesterdays and change where need be.
        08/03/06
        Finally finished the page for the pictures from my nokia 8150. Man what a pain in the ass!

        http://gmonkey.com/8150.htm

        MD

      • Monkey Do 004 Pics from 7610
        08/03/06
        Finally finished the page for the pictures from my nokia 7610. Man what a pain in the ass!

        http://gmonkey.com/7610.htm

        MD

      • Man its Hot
        08/01/06
        This is one wet hot summer!! it's been raining allot and now the temps are just out of control. Seems like its hotter then its been before with fears of blackouts looming I have turned off computers in home to try and chip in my share. Oh and I was finally able to get some good sleep I took Uni

    • July
      • ZZZzzzzz No Sleep
        07/31/06
        having the hardest time sleeping normal hours my clock is still messed up I though it had been kinda fixed but it seems to not be so.

        I remember still.

        G

      • Change
        07/27/06
        I come home and always just throw my change into this "money box" I got I don't really take out any change from it except on rare occasions that a relative comes by and they don't have change for the parking meter. It pays in the end to not touch it sort of like a poor mans CD wi

      • Monkey Do 003 More nothing
        07/24/06
        Well no real work done today other then fixing the loading screens on the site, I had noticed that the screens would hang too long while loading so I thought they were better this way.

        MD

      • Monkey Do 002 Website Update : Video
        07/22/06
        I am working on the Video's page on the site. I have also uploaded all my videos to youtube so that people can view them if they dont want the Divx plugin.

        Will finish the links to the videos on my site later on.

        http://gmonkey.com/video

        MD

      • Monkey Do 001 Still Working on this damn site
        07/21/06
        Well can really still, cause I havent really been working on it but now I am going to start adding the content to this.

        MD

    • May